One of THOSE days

I have some experience with my children taking things too literally.  However, my latest experience tops all to-date and still leaves me speechless.  I was talking with friends after church on Wednesday evening.  The boys were running around kicking a soccer ball, and my daughter was sitting on my hip.  It had been a VERY long day and I was exhausted.  I said to my friend, "Well, I should get them home before I kill somebody."  Next thing I knew my 4 1/2 year old was whaling, "But I don't want to get keeeylld!  I don't want to die!!!!" 

Seriously, I still don't know what to say. 

What a Duckzaster!!

It appeared she had all her ducks in a row....

...until I discovered the Duckzaster at ground zero.

"Come Here, Dumbo!"

So, my four year old daughter likes to pretend she's "Dumbo the Kangaroo." (I have no idea where this came from). This morning at church she said, "Mom, tell me, 'Come here Dumbo!'" Then she said, "Say, 'Put your coat on, Dumbo.'" I'm just waiting for someone in some public place to pull me aside and read me the riot act over what a bad parent I must be. Why couldn't she pick something like "Sweetums," "Cutie," or even "Sally," the Kangaroo?! Sheesh.

When "Work" Makes a Mother-Teacher Smile

At lunch today my 7-year-old overheard a conversation about pushing and pulling and interjected, "Mom, don't scientists call that 'work'?" 

"It's Like I'm Having Surgery!"

Apparently our third son (who is presently 5) has a flair for the dramatic.  This morning while I was cutting his fingernails, he exclaimed, "It's like I'm having surgery!"  I cannot help but roll my eyes.  Oh my. 

Those are MY ducks!

That our daughter has a "thing" for ducks is an understatement.  An unnamed parent in our house did a fabulous job of buying...but was not very discreet about hiding certain Christmas presents.  There is presently a very disgruntled chorus of "those are my ducks!  I wanna see my ducks!!!" ....being cried in the background.

"Is that the poop singing?"

My three-year-old daughter hears music in everything.  Not too long ago, we were driving around and had a hitch in the back of the truck and it made a loud "clank".  She joyfully exclaimed, "it's making MUSIC!"  Earlier today, she pooted, and then asked, "Is that the poop singing?"   I wonder what's next?

I am married to a Greek God

"I don't like that yucky face!"

We all went to Red Robin for Ms. Dimples' birthday dinner. We'd been sitting in our booth for a few minutes when she noticed the photo of Einstein on the wall, got a bit whiney, and then completely avoided looking at the photo. Next thing we heard was, "I don't like that yucky face!" Can you blame her? Glad she enjoyed dinner anyway!

Best Behavior

Today we spent a few hours with friends at their house.  Before we left, we reminded the kids we wanted them to be on their best behavior.  We had a really nice visit.  As we loaded up to go home, the boys were talking about how much fun they'd had, and how much they enjoyed it.  And our 4 1/2-year-old chimed in enthusiastically, "Now THAT's what I call BEST behavior."  Too funny.

Happy Mother's Day

I was putting away some laundry today when my 8 year old mentioned he still had a full hamper.  I asked him, "It's Mother's Day, aren't you going to do your own laundry today?" He answered, "I don't know how to turn on the washing machine...I'm not even sure Dad knows."

"How did it get in there in the first place?"

This morning I was reading through some blogs that I follow.  This post by my favorite author just made my morning.  It also helped me appreciate my own recent "deer-in-the-headlights" experience in a whole new way.

About a month ago, all three boys had asked to look at their baby books (that is not uncommon). While they were browsing through the pages, my seven-year-old looked up from the ultrasound photos and asked, "But how did the baby get IN there in the first place?"

Until today, I hadn't thought to appreciate the fact that we were at home when the question popped-up, AND that no other adults were present to witness my uh, "phenomenal handling" of the inquiry. 

Next question, please!

You Missed Your Kiss

This morning when I woke up, Mr. Sleep-Deprived had already left. My four-year-old felt the need to inform me, "You missed your kiss." He did leave me with the consolation that I could get my kiss later tonight when Daddy gets home.

Is it okay to say Mom's got an "extra-large" anything?!?

I was getting ready a few weeks ago and overheard this from the dining room:

7-year-old (to the 5-year-old): "Yours would be medium, mine would be large, and Mom's would be EXTRA-large"

(at which point I yelled from the other room...)
Me: "Hey! You don't say your mom has an "extra-large" ANYTHING!

7-year-old: "MOM!!!! We're talking about BRAINS!!!"

(I'm starting to think maybe an extra-large mouth is my problem).

Telling Time

I overheard this conversation between the boys recently. I am rarely awake before they are, but it was after 8 am.

4-year-old: (to his brothers) "Can we wake up?"
7-year-old: (to 5-year-old) "Can you go check the time?"
5-year-old: "No." (To 4-year-old) "You go do it."
4-year-old: "But I don't know how to tell the time."
7-year-old: (to 4-year-old) "Just go look and come back and tell us the numbers."
(long pause as 4-year-old comes out to check the clock)
4-year-old: "OH MY GOSH...there's an 8 on the end of it.....MOM! Can we wake up?!"

Sweet Song

Overheard as our four-year-old sang softly to his 2 1/2 year-old sister (he had his arm around her shoulder and she was drinking it up)

"God is the best, but you are great too. And your eyes are turning blue-green. You'll stay with us..." It was a much longer song, but I couldn't understand all the words - they were so quiet and sweet.

Little Miss Sleep-Deprived

One of the drawbacks to a toddler bed is accessibility. I knew Ms. Dimples had been doing some playing and falling asleep on the floor during naptime (you can see the evidence below). She never complains about naptime, and is pretty quiet about her playing (unless there is a loud toy available). However, I think she took playing to a new level today. The photo at the bottom is how I found her when I went in to the room this evening - and the room didn't look like that when she went IN to nap.

"Daddy has an extra face"

Our comedian struck again. As soon as his dad picked him up, he squeezed his face close and said, "Daddy has an extra face!" I guess he already realizes how much he resembles his dad.

I'm CREEPY!

Our little comedian was at it again. All I heard was a strange voice coming from my 3 1/2-year-old saying "I'm CREEPY....I'm CREEPY." He was referring to his creative use of the googly eye stickers.

Knock-Knock Joke of the Day

On the way to a doctor's appointment for Ms. Dimples, the boys were having fun telling knock-knock jokes to each other. They still don't get it - but anyway....after a stretch of silence this came along:

5YO- "Mom, say 'knock-knock' to me"
Me - "Knock-knock"
5YO- "Who's there?"
Me - "The problem is I don't have a knock-knock joke"
5YO- "The problem is I don't have a knock-knock joke, who?"
Me - (hysterical laughing in the van)....

...then again, maybe they DO get it.